Mental Pictures
by Tinsley Warren
Summary: What starts off as any other day, turns into one of those days that will forever be imprinted in your brain, like a mental picture. Entry for The Fruit's on the Vine TwiFic Contest. *Winner of 3rd Place Judge's Vote*


**I want to thank everyone who voted and read this little Fic I won 3rd place Judge's vote for the Fruit's on the Vine Twific Contest! So excited, and what a great experience for my first contest! Woooooohooo!**

**I want to thank my BIG team that helped me on this one, I couldn't have done it without you! Thank you to shinrai, GetDrunkOnVictory, CarrieZM, Hoodfabulous, HappyMess, and CullensTwiMistress! I couldn't have gotten this to look as good without you all!**

**Disclaimer: I don't Twilight. I do own the plot. That's all! **

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There are moments in life that seem to be etched in your mind like a snapshot. Maybe it's the color of your wedding dress, or the feel of the mortarboard in your hand as you throw it up into the air, or even the way your husband first smiled at you. Some moments you never forget. I knew I was having one of those moments the day my life changed forever...

I woke up on a Saturday in March with the sun in my eyes and an empty bed. I held back a groan when I realized the other side of my bed was cold. No morning sex for me. No one should start off a Saturday when in a serious relationship without morning sex. If I were president, my first order of business would be making sure that idea became law.

I chanced a glance at the clock and saw it was eleven forty-five. Shit. I should have been dressed a half hour ago. My boyfriend's parents were coming over, and I couldn't greet them without panties and just his oversized Avengers shirt on.

I jumped out of bed, and the room seemed to spin. I clutched the nightstand as I felt my stomach roll. I knew I had three seconds to sprint to the bathroom or else I would be ruining the new Bohemian rug I had bought the week before.

I made it in record time, only stumbling once, and expelled all of my dinner, and late night snack. I shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the evidence and flushed the contents down the toilet.

Eh.

Not the best way to start off the day.

I swooshed mouthwash around until I couldn't take the burn and then brushed all the yuck from my teeth. That was what I needed when I saw my boyfriend, Edward, for the first time in the morning, morning breath mixed with vomit breath. What a combination.

I gagged again as I thought about it.

I went into the kitchen and found Edward cooking breakfast. His reddish brown hair was sticking every which way as he bit his lip in concentration, trying to brown the meat just right. He was a bit of a perfectionist, but it was welcomed.

I took a step on the creaky part of the floor, signaling my arrival, and he looked at me, his smile wide. "Morning, sleepy head."

I went to him and kissed his cheek. Edward grabbed my hand so I couldn't walk away, his green eyes scanned my face, and his mouth formed the cutest pout.

"No lips? What did I do this time?" I laughed at him and shook my head. I grabbed the glass of water he had next to him and took a sip.

"Nothing, it's what I did. How long had that Caesar salad been in the fridge? I ate it last night."

He thought about it a second before he answered. "Three days old, why?"

"Damn that rancid chicken!" I hissed and set the glass down. "I just freaking vomited like it was an Olympic sport, and I was going for the gold medal."

"That's my baby, always going above and beyond the norm." He smiled and I smacked his arm. "But seriously, you feeling okay?"

My stomach didn't hurt anymore, and smelling the food he was preparing didn't have me running to the bathroom. It made me hungry. I nodded my head.

"Good, my parents are going to be here in like thirty minutes. Maybe that will perk you up?" This time he let out a full on laugh.

I held back a groan at the thought of entertaining Edward's mom, Mrs. Cullen. Don't get me wrong, I loved Edward's family. He had a great dad and his brother was hilarious. But his mother was out to get me. I swear if she could, she would put a hit on me just so I wouldn't take her precious baby boy away.

It's not like I was even doing that!

We met in college, our sophomore year. I was an education major, and he was a computer science major. Our meeting was by chance. We ended up in the same government class, and as he tells the story, I wanted nothing to do with him. In reality, I thought his thick, black glasses and his crazy, chaotic hair were adorable. I still found myself getting lost in his bright green eyes. Thankfully, he pursued me or else I would still be pining away for him.

The rest, as they say, is history. We ended up moving in together after college in a town called Port Angeles, right outside of Seattle. We liked our life, and I liked that his parents were an hour's car drive away.

His mom thought we were living in sin. I mean, hell yes we were. But that wasn't the point. She feared she would someday have to call me her daughter-in-law, and she wasn't subtle at all about voicing that. She loved to comment on my clothing, my shoes, my hair, and even my vocabulary. She picked at anything and everything. Edward had always made it worth my while by going down on me on the kitchen counter when they left, but she was still a pain in my ass.

His mother was just so different from my parents. My father was a cop, sported a pretty decent sized mustache, and had kind brown eyes. He was more traditional, so he did agree with Edward's mom about the living arrangement issue. But he threatened Edward with a gun if he ever hurt me, so he felt better about it. My mother was more of a free spirit and owned her own tie dye shop. I would normally receive some new form of tie dyed clothing for birthdays or Christmas. How she stayed in business was beyond me. She would also give me Kama Sutra sex advice which I tried to shut down as soon as she brought it up. I didn't even want to think about that, or how she knew a certain move was a sure way to orgasm.

But overall, my parents welcomed Edward into our family with open arms. Even my snobby sister Bree, but that was because she saw how happy he made me. His mother just didn't welcome me at all. I was getting over it though. As long as Edward loved me, that was all that mattered.

"Well, I was feeling better. But I feel it coming back. Oh wow, the sharp pains!" I clutched my stomach dramatically. He didn't buy it, just stared at me like I looked ridiculous. I probably did.

"Fine. I'll go shower," I huffed as I walked to the hallway. I thought better of walking away. Instead I turned around and licked my lips. He just gave me a curious look and arched an eyebrow.

"You know what makes me feel better?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound all sultry as I pulled his t-shirt from my small frame. "A nice...hot shower."

I watched his Adam's apple bob as he took me in. "Belllla""

"It's fine, I know your parents are coming. I guess we won't be." Cue the dramatic sigh.

His eyes darkened with lust. "You play dirty, woman. If they weren't going to walk through that door any minute, I would have you against the tile wall in that shower. We are rain-checking this," he said as his eyes scanned my tits again. "Definitely."

I watched him adjust himself in his pants, and I held back a laugh. Now, we both were going to be in pain due to his mother's visit. Sounded fair to me.

_MP_

By the time I got all clean and had thought of naughty things to do to Edward, his parents had arrived. I had no time to do anything with my hair and just barely had time to put some sort of makeup on.

I could hear her shrill voice as I walked into the living room. She was complaining about how the new photo frames I had just purchased from Ikea looked whorish. I held back an eye roll and walked up to her.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen. It's nice to see you." I leaned forward and did the weird European air kiss on each cheek kind of greeting. I learned the hard way not to touch her. The last time I did it she pulled out a wet wipe and cleansed herself.

"Bella, if it was so nice to see me, why didn't you dry your hair? And those bags under your eyes could really be cleared up with proper makeup." She scrunched her nose at me. Edward put his arm around my shoulders. It was more in a protective way. He knew I wanted to fucking pounce on her ass.

"Calm down, I'll do that tongue thing you like later," he whispered in my ear. That instantly perked me up.

"Mother, I happen to think Bella looks lovely." Edward smiled at me, and his mother held back an eye roll.

"Well, everyone has their own opinion." She walked away and thankfully, her husband came in carrying a pie. It was apple, my favorite. These Cullen men, they sure know the way to my heart: food.

"Bella!" Mr. Cullen handed Edward the pie and gave me a big bear hug. He looked just like his son, except he had blonde hair. The only thing Edward got from his mother was her strangely beautiful hair color. Thankfully, he got his father's friendly personality. No one needed another Mrs. Cullen in the world. No one.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen." He squeezed me so tight it came out as a gasp.

"Carlisle! Don't Mr. Cullen me, makes me feel old." He laughed.

He let me go, and I heard Mrs. Cullen scoff. Even in my head, I wouldn't dare refer to her by her first name. She would know.

"What are we, peasants? Finger food for a meal? Tacos? Real classy choice, Bella." Her complaining about the food made me smile.

"Actually, Edward made lunch." My smile was wide as I looked over at him. Point one for Bella.

Edward held back a laugh as his mother tried to backtrack. "Oh, honey, I didn't know you were cooking Mexican now! I bet it's going to be fantastic." Mrs. Cullen gushed over Edward, as she gave him her first genuine smile of the day.

She then set her icy, blue eyes on me. "I should have known though. Bella can't cook to save her life." Point one for the Wicked Witch of the West.

_MP_

Lunch went as smoothly as I thought it would go. Edward's mother complained about my perfume and said it gave her a headache. Now I knew what to wear when she came around. I held back any bitchy comments I had, being the better person and all.

Edward had to butt in from time to time to shut his mother's harsh words down. He hated how she always tried to tear me apart. But then she would apologize and blame her old age for her lack of filter. The woman was fifty-six years old, not exactly the age you lose your filter. Carlisle would try to steer the conversation to other topics too. He would send me a wink when he dodged a bullet for me. At least I had the Cullen men on my side.

Like I said, I loved Edward's family; his mother just didn't count.

Everyone was in the living room when Mrs. Cullen noticed something by the TV. "What on earth are those little things?" She pointed to the little baby figures we had next to the television.

"Baby figures." Edward shrugged, as if every normal person has little mini rattles and bottles just displayed out for people to look at.

I interrupted her, better I cut her off than have her assume I had a hidden doll collection somewhere, or something equally as weird. "My family has this tradition where every Valentine's Day all the women bake a cake. In the cake, they add a little baby figure and whoever gets the most slices with the baby pieces will get pregnant within the year."

Her eyebrows shot up, and she looked between me and the little figures. "How much cake did you eat Bella? There are like four little figures there! That many carbohydrates for a female your size could really ruin whatever figure you still have!"

I gritted my teeth. "Everyone is served one slice, and we take them home. It wasn't like I was feeding my face the whole time." In all seriousness, I did eat a lot of cake that day. Who could blame me? My cousins make the best red velvet and double chocolate cake. By the end of the party, I almost believed I was pregnant. I had the biggest food baby. It was so worth it though. I couldn't wait until next Valentine's day so I could do it again.

"That's so interesting," Carlisle said as he leaned back on the sofa, putting his arm around his wife's shoulders. "Has it worked for anyone?"

"Oh yeah. My sister won three years ago, and then that year she had my niece. It worked for my aunts and even my cousins. We normally don't play every year, or I could imagine the teen pregnancies we would have." I laughed, and Mrs. Cullen just stared.

"Who had the most this year?" Carlisle asked, he looked genuinely curious.

"Me," I replied casually. Edward rubbed my hand, and I felt his mother's eyes on my stomach.

"Are you trying to tell us something?" She questioned, her voice sounded slightly lighter than before. I looked up at her, and for the first time in knowing her, I didn't see complete hatred. Just about ninety-five percent. The other five percent looks curious.

"No? I mean, you guys already know my love of baked goods. I blame getting all the baby figures because I took the most slices."

"Oh, you won the baby contest due to your ravenous appetite. Huh." She scoffed in disgust. "I shouldn't be surprised."

"On that note," Carlisle said as he got up. "We have to go. Esme wants to buy some Tiffany's lamp at the antique shop, and I want to look for some new books. Thank you for having us."

I was relieved this was just a short visit, and even happier Carlisle forgot we had leftover pie. I wasn't going to remind him, and hopefully Edward wouldn't either.

My desire for sweets had skyrocketed. The night before, I finished Edward's salad. And then ate a whole bag of Oreos, plus four popsicles. I just couldn't get enough. Normally, I had good self control, but lately I couldn't not give in.

I gave Carlisle a hug goodbye and my chest hurt. Like my boobs felt extremely sensitive. The hug had to be cut short to save my poor girls. Thankfully, Mrs. Cullen accepted a head nod.

Once they were gone, I felt like I could breathe and instantly took off my bra, doing that under the shirt, arm maneuver woman are good at, letting out a deep sigh.

"Is it bad that you doing that turns me on immensely?" Edward asked, coming toward me, his trademark smirk present.

He grabbed me and gave me a heated kiss, his tongue demanding entrance into my mouth. I groaned when I could still taste the pie as his tongue found mine.

I let him pick me up and place me on the counter. His hands grabbing at my side and then making their way under my shirt.

"God Bella, your skin is so soft," he whispered as his hands got to their destination.

I yelped and pushed him away from my breasts. "Ow!"

"You okay?" he asked, sounding out of breath. His eyes were still hooded with desire.

"Yeah," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest, almost like I was shielding them from his strong hands. "My chest is just really sensitive."

"You want to wait? Another rain check?" I nodded my head and hopped off the counter. My boobs had always been sensitive when I was getting my period, but not this sensitive. I tried to think when I was getting it next, and I froze. I should have gotten it last week. I should have been flowing by now. The river should be red. Why wasn't it? Oh shit.

"I'll be back!" I yelled as I ran to the bathroom with my fingers crossed that my boobs were in pain because they were growing. It's totally normal for a twenty-six-year-old woman to have boobs that were still growing, yeah? I mean that sounded logical, puberty in your late twenties.

My hands shook as I searched in the medicine cabinet. I knew I had a pregnancy test in there somewhere. I remember buying a couple a few months ago. My best friend Alice thought she was pregnant and I decided to give her moral support by taking a test too. Turns out Alice wasn't pregnant so all that freaking out she did was for nothing. We ordered in Chinese food and, Alice promised never to have a one night stand again. She broke that promise about four times after that. Alice blamed a Drake song and muttered YOLO when I tried to guilt trip her about it. Alice is Alice.

I felt the cardboard of the box, and I almost dropped it as I pulled it out. Looking at it and the words pregnancy test made me want to throw up. What if I was pregnant? Edward and I weren't married. I didn't want to force marriage on him if he wasn't ready. Could I even be a good wife? I mean I have no other skills; I can barely boil water, I don't know how to work the dish washer, and making the bed seems like such a waste of time. If I couldn't even do that how was I going to be a mother?

But as I was freaking out, a little part of me was jumping up and down. I could see myself living in a single family home with a white picket fence. Edward would be by my side as we watched a little boy with copper colored hair and evergreen eyes smile up at us as he rode his tricycle around. His laughter would float in the air, wrapping us up in the magic of parenthood. Edward would look down at me as if I had bestowed upon him the best gift in the world.

I wanted that.

That thought alone gave me the power to open the box and just go for it. I sat on the toilet and tried to maneuver the stick so I didn't pee all over my arm. I had to go back out there and face him, I didn't want my arm smelling like piss. I could just imagine the questioning look he would give me as I snuggled in close and he got a whiff of my piss arm. That rain check would be void.

Luckily, I didn't pee on myself, but my arm was in the wrong spot so I had to move it really quick to make sure I got everything right on target. That shit was harder than they advertise.

After the ridiculous spectacle I made of myself, I put the pregnancy stick on the top of the toilet lid, and sat cross legged in front of the bowl. I didn't want to stare at it the whole time. That would have made me go crazy. So instead I rested my hands against my flat stomach and tried to think back to when this could have possibly happened. I knew Edward and I had a pretty healthy sex life, but I thought we were careful. There were a couple times we would go without a condom, but that was normally once a month when we were feeling risky.

Maybe it was the time we did it in the back seat of his car after we went and saw that terrible Katherine Hegel movie. Or the time I wanted to reenact the scene from Ghost after I took that free trial pottery class. Or maybe it was the time I wanted to see if Edward could do it like Roughie, he sure could. Or maybe it was when there was nothing on TV and we decided condoms were for squares and just went at it.

Thinking back, we really weren't careful at all. I couldn't even remember the last time we used a condom.

Shit.

I swear if our baby was conceived from role playing with that pottery wheel, I would die of shame!

Before I could let myself cry at the thought of what a terrible mother I was going to be due to the babies conception, my eyes caught the stick. The results were in.

That was when I had one of those moments, where no matter how long I lived, no matter what happened; I would never forget the outfit I had on, the time of day, the way the bathroom smelled, the coolness of the tile underneath me, and most importantly, the answer to my question.

Positive.

My mind went blank.

I felt numb.

Was this really happening?

I lifted my shirt, put my hands on my stomach and just stared at it. "Are you really in there?" I whispered, sounding afraid. Afraid of what I don't know, but I didn't want to scare the little person growing inside me.

My eyes started to fill with tears. "I'm your mom." I laughed to myself in the empty bathroom. Like it could even hear me! "Sorry for ignoring you, I didn't know you were in there. But I promise I won't forget."

It was funny to me that something you had no idea about, something you weren't hoping for, could come into your life like a wrecking ball and plow down everything you had there, every thought and plan. Yet, you knew whatever you had planned before wouldn't even come close to how wonderful and perfect things would be from there on out.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door and I jumped. "Bella, are you okay? I mean you've been in there a while. Is it the tacos?"

I laughed and wiped the happy tears from my eyes. "I'm fine," I said opening the door.

"Was it a big gross one? Imagine if it's hitting my parents right now, they're in the car. Can you imagine that dutch oven?" He laughed and I shook my head. No matter how old Edward got, the idea of farting could have him cracking up.

He stopped laughing and really looked at me. "What's wrong?" he asked, caressing my cheek. "You've been crying."

The look in his eyes did it, and I broke down. He held me to him as I cried. I cried happy tears, overwhelmed tears, and scared tears. "Oh, Edward!"

"Baby," he said brushing my hair with his hand. "It will be okay, I'm here."

"You promise?" I sniffled.

"Of course, why would you think differently?" He pulled back and looked at me like I was crazy for what I said.

"I'm pregnant."

It hung in the air as his mouth dropped open.

Then he dropped down to his knees and put his hands on my stomach. He looked up at me, and that smile I imagined him giving me was there. He looked so happy, not scared at all.

"There's a baby in here?" He was in awe.

"Yes, our baby."

"Ours," he murmured as he gave my stomach soft kisses.

When I looked at him, he seemed so calm. I stood there holding back the fear that was creeping into my mind.

"I'm nervous," I whispered after a minute.

He seemed to get out of the baby zone and pulled me so I was sitting cross legged in front of him. "Why?" He asked, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles to soothe me.

"Why?" I looked up at the ceiling to hold back the tears. Jeesh! How many tears could I possibly produce? "Edward, I can't cook. I'm always late. I never have matching socks, and I think eating healthy is when I only eat half the thing of Oreo's in one sitting. I can barely take care of myself. How can I take care of a little person?"

He looked at me and laughed. The father of my unborn child laughed at me and my list of fears. I got up to leave and he held my arm, making sure I wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm sorry! I'm laughing because you don't see yourself clearly Bella. You're a kindergarten teacher, and the best one I know. You take care of those kids every day. Plus, you take care of me. You make my lunch every day so I know you make a mean sandwich. You help me organize everything in my life, even if you don't have matching socks, you make sure I do. You make sure I take my vitamins everyday so I don't get sick and when I do get sick you nurse me back to health. You take care of me, Bella. Don't doubt that, and don't doubt that you won't be the best mother to our baby."

I leaned in and kissed him. "You mean that?"

"Don't ever doubt yourself, Bella. We are in this together, forever. We will make it, all three of us." He put his hand on my stomach and I smiled up at him.

"You don't seem shocked."

He smirked at me. "I had a feeling you were."

"How? I didn't even know!"

"Bella, you made us leave that silly vampire movie you love fifteen minutes in because you just had to get some rocky road ice cream. When we got to the ice cream shop you cut off a family of four so you could be first. And my favorite, you cried at the help 'I've fallen and can't get up' commercial. Plus, we haven't used a condom in two months. So I guess you can say I had a hunch."

I stared at him, his smile got wider as I was at a loss for words. "Two months? Were you trying to get me pregnant?"

"Yeah, I was hoping I could get you knocked up before we got engaged so your dad could come over here and blow off my testicles with his shot gun." Oh shit, we had to tell my parents! My dad was a cop, he would freak out! What if he shot Edward? I would be a single parent! Plus, we had to tell his parents. I couldn't even think of that at the moment.

"Calm down, let's take this one step at a time. I was just being sarcastic. I realized the lack of condoms when your pregnancy symptoms started popping up. But now that I brought it up, what if your dad does shoot me?" His face went pale and I couldn't help but laugh. Finally, he got nervous.

"We'll work this out together." I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. He groaned against my mouth and cradled my face in his hands.

"Yes, we will," he whispered as he nibbled on my earlobe. Who knew telling your boyfriend he knocked you up and him remembering your dad could blow his nuts off could get him in the mood.

"I love you," I groaned as he hit that magical spot behind me ear, the one that shot tingling pleasure all the way down to my core. He didn't stop there as his hand grazed my hardened nipple through my shirt.

"I love you, too." Edward said, his voice thick with want, and held a slight edge of excitement, as he pulled my shirt over my head. "I've wanted to touch you since this morning, but you looked so peaceful sleeping. I wasn't going to be selfish and wake you up."

His mouth found its target, and he gently pulled my nipple between his teeth. That action alone had me grabbing his hair and pulling his face closer to my chest. His hand went down to my pants, and he popped open the button. My breath hitched in anticipation. My panties were screaming to be taken off. Just knowing he was close to where I wanted him most sent a wave of desire through me. We could skip the foreplay, I was so ready for him.

My skin felt sensitive as his finger circled my clit, adding just the right amount of pressure to leave me panting for me as his hand retreated.

"I've been hard since you teased me with the shower, Bella. I can't wait anymore."

He didn't have to say that twice. I pulled at his shirt like a four year old on Christmas morning, and threw the garment to the side. He beat me to his belt buckle, so I saved time by getting out of my pants as he did the same. His smirk was the last thing I saw before I found myself straddling his thighs, eye level with him. His erection poked my bare thigh as he ran his fingers through my folds and found me ready for him.

"Bella, look at me," he ordered, his voice full of need as he lined himself up with my entrance. We were both holding back from just going for it when he mouthed I love you and slowly pulled me down filling me. We were skin to skin with our eyes locked, and he started to guide my movements.

I forced my eyes to stay locked on his, when all I really wanted was to close them and enjoy the slow, sinful feeling of moving up and down on him. His eyes seemed to grow darker as his hands gripped my hips in such a loving and secure way. I could tell he was trying to show me how much this announcement meant to him. How much he cherished me and what we had created.

My breathing grew heavier as he found that spot inside me and slowly kept hitting it. Every hit was better than the last.

I wasn't normally one for the slow and go, but the way he was making me feel, I just wanted to absorb every second of it. I wanted to be in that moment with him.

I could feel his thighs tense as that welcomed tightening started down below. His face looked strained, and he moved his long fingers to my clit. He should have been a piano player with his fingers. But he played me so well, I would be jealous if he used those digits on anything else.

He went in slow circles, and I clutched his shoulders, my nails leaving crescent indents in his pale skin as I held back. He added a little more pressure, his upward thrusts never stopping as he focused on bringing me to the brink.

"Bella, I can feel you, so tight and close. Fall with me, please baby." Edward's voice sounded strained, and I knew he was doing everything in his power to wait for me.

His words, and the feel of sensory overload had me clenching around him, milking him as I came with his name on my lips. I felt him come as I let myself fall down from the high of my orgasm, but I didn't miss him groaning out a thank you.

He pulled me on top of him as he lay down, making a hot, sweaty, tangle of limbs on our rug. His hand rubbed my back and I focused on his heartbeat, feeling lighter than I had in years.

"I know you have fears, I can read you pretty well. And before you let them grow in that pretty head of yours, know that whatever fear you have I probably have too. But we will be fine. I can promise you that." His voice was sleepy and I felt the smile on my lips before I even knew I was smiling.

I knew it was soon, I mean I just found out, but all those fears of him not being happy were ridiculous. We were in this together. We would be okay. Maybe I wouldn't know everything, but I had him by my side, we could figure it out together. We always did.

I had a lot of moments in my life that were memorable, but I knew that what I had just shared, would open a whole new journey for us both. I needed to remember to take things one day at a time and really absorb everything. I heard from everyone that time goes quickly, just enjoy it. I would enjoy it. I would embrace the cravings. I would embrace the hard days and the good days. I would just embrace everything. I wanted to look back and have happy mental pictures to reminisce about and I didn't doubt that I would.

I felt my eyelids get heavy with sleep when a thought popped into my head.

"What if someone asks us about how the baby was conceived? What if it was from that role play of that Ghost scene?" My voice got higher as I started to panic. He opened one eye, and stared at me like I was crazy for thinking that would happen.

"No one will ask that." He yawned and closed his eyes again.

"My grandmother?" His eyes popped open. My grandmother was a prime example of an older woman with no filter, and I blame her addiction to E! Reality shows. She asked my sister, two months after she had her first child, if the sex was as tight and as good as it was before. After inquiring about how good the pregnancy sex was and what positions they used. My grandmother was eighty-five and she wouldn't let her leave the room until my sister explained her sex life. She would ask. I could feel it.

"We lie."

I could live with that.

* * *

**A/N: My grandmother did actually ask that, so that's a true story. And the baby figures is too. My friend's sister learned about this tradition at her work. Turns out she got all the pieces of bread with the baby figures. She decided to take a pregnancy test and BOOM she was preggo!**

**I was asked if I was expanding this, I can't say it won't ever happen, so we will see. I will just mark in complete right now and if my mini ideas turn into chapters then I will post them as soon as I write them!**


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